The beginning..

Ok one of the things he mentions in his show is to NOT weigh yourself but at the most of every two weeks but preferably once a month. Wow .. that seems impossible. I have started to incorporate the principles of the 4 golden rules, but I did weigh myself to see if there is any difference. Not yet .. now before I would absolutely get discouraged if I didn't lose any weight. But not today. It is my starting point.

I am not going to mention my weight yet, as even though I am not expecting anyone to read this, what if someone does. Yikes!! I did go as far as admitting how much I need to lose in my previous post so it is to say that I weigh alot.

My struggles:

One of the things he mentions in both CDs and shows is to accept yourself. Oh boy .. it is very hard to look in the mirror and say .. I see you and I accept you the way you are. I do know how to look in the mirror at certain angles so that I am happy with what I see. I take pictures the same way but with an added benefit of being able to photoshop the sides and bottom so I dont have to see that part either.

I have only been doing this for a couple of days and I have been doing pretty good. My biggest struggles were .. when we went camping on Saturday in Zions my kids' brought Coke. Now this was BEFORE I learned about the tapping so I do not feel bad about drinking it. I actually only had 3 cans the entire trip and I filled my water bottle up a few times and drank more water than coke. Fortunately, my kids forgot to get marshmallows and none felt like going to the store to get me some or I would have definitely ate some toasted over the camp fire because who ever heard of having a campfire withOUT marshmallows??

Last night I was invited to dinner and went to Outback. I ordered water and the crabcakes appetizer. I wasn't completely hungry .. I didn't hear the rumblings of the tummy but I don't feel bad as I did feel the start of being hungry. I ate all of the crab cakes and I didn't feel bad about that either as it was but a small portion of a full size dinner. I did get to work off the dinner with my dinner partner so I feel good about that too :)

Now later when I got home, I had some homework to do that I had forgotten about AND a test to take the next day that I had not studied for. My kids had invited 2 friends over .. my kids being my 3 teenage boys who live with me. Then about 11:30 p.m. my daughter and son-in-law came over with my grandson. I had 8 people plus the baby in my tiny two bedroom apartment.

Needless to say I got a little stressed with all of this and my son was eating some Oreo cookies which looked very good. I did the tapping method to try to get the craving to have some Oreos to go away. I eventually gave in to the craving and had 3 cookies. I don't feel terribly bad about eating those cookies as I was hungry AND I only ate 3 cookies. Before I would have eaten alot of cookies .. I can't even tell you how many as I would never count.. only eaten them until I was full of cookies.. 8.. maybe 9 .. even 10.. who knows.

Today I ate a package of 6 cheese crackers with peanut butter on them.. I love those.. the little orange crackers with peanut butter in the middle. I ate them on my way to class. Interestingly even though I ate them while I was driving I concentrated on eating them.. making each cracker sandwich last two bites and chewing each bite at least 20 times savoring the flavor. Today I only brought two packages with me instead of a normal of 3 packages and I only ate 1 package. Then I went to Wingers for lunch. I got the Sticky Finger lunch which came with 3 sticky fingers and a bake potato with the sour cream and chives toppings. When the food came I set down my book and ate consciously. I chewed my food and tasted it all. It was very good. One of the practices I am doing that McKenna suggested is to leave food on the plate.. this helps us to get used to not eating as much until we get better at recognizing the "I am full" signs our bodies give us. I left over half the potato and one of the sticky fingers. I drank water. I feel really good about this. I followed all the rules.

When I got home I had that same craving to eat sweets after my food has started to digest. I decided to have 3 oreos. I also decided to eat each one consciously. After I ate the second one I didnt want to eat the last one and left it.

Now my thought process this evening was .. how am I ever going to eat dessert again as dessert follows food and I eat food until I am full. Well I came up with a grand plan. I am going to stop eating before I feel full and have my dessert. So for dinner I ate leftover sausage gravy with 2 biscuits. When I was half way done with the bowl, I stopped. I then ate a 1" x 2" piece of the reeses bars my kids made last night. I actually sat at the table by myself and ate . I chewed each bite. I savored the biscuits and gravy as well as the reeses. Now I got all the food that I wanted and I ate until I was full. I had a couple of sips of milk with dinner. Now I am just drinking water.

My body feels sore and I know its because I have not been drinking enough water. Although I am drinking more water it is not enough to make my body feel better. I want to feel better because I want to get more active. I did two more loads of laundry which is some movement.

Here is a heavy pic of me. I haven't posted this pic anywhere as I did not like it as I looked very fat in it.. but hey.. guess what I am and I am accepting that! My grandson is the cutest. LOL I couldn't do it. I posted the pic of me and my grandson and took it down.. It really is a bad pic of me and I am not accepting I look like that.. oh well maybe another time.



I will post later how I did tonight.

I will be thin!! I can see myself thin. I will be happy and healthy and active.

Love Me!